{"id":3675,"date":"2022-07-20T18:31:00","date_gmt":"2022-07-20T18:31:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/novels.zerosilver.com\/wordpress\/?page_id=3675"},"modified":"2024-02-29T16:12:55","modified_gmt":"2024-02-29T16:12:55","slug":"fall-to-eden-sample","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/novels.zerosilver.com\/wordpress\/fall-to-eden-sample\/","title":{"rendered":"Fall to Eden Sample"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

By Katherine Padilla<\/a> \u00a9 2003<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Chapter 1: Messiah or Anti-Christ?<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Chapter 2: The Librarian<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Chapter 3: Doubts and Dreams<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Chapter 1: Messiah or Anti-Christ?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Divine One stood near the boardroom window-wall, an arm folded across His waist and a hand absently stroking His chin. He seemed oblivious to everything but the severely damaged condition of so many of the seventy-eight ships that remained in His space fleet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Admiral of the Fleet Harman Sanzanal halted for a moment near the polished wood table, unnerved to see his Master so troubled. In the eighteen years Tohmazz Zarr had held the title of Divine Emperor, Sanzanal had never seen Him present anything but the calmest and most confident of exteriors, no matter how bleak the circumstances seemed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As Sanzanal moved toward the Divine One, He turned, His luxuriant angel-white curls brushing against the spirit crystals that embellished his purple cape. His eyes, the icy gray of diamonds, studied Sanzanal\u2019s face, His spirit touching Sanzanal\u2019s as He communicated telepathically. Is our situation as grave as it appears?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Far worse, Divine One. Only forty-eight thousand people remain of our Nation. Eleven thousand of those are warriors, and a mere two hundred and eighty-one comprise the Aristocracy. The Nobility has dwindled to sixty-two.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sanzanal could feel the Divine One\u2019s spirit shudder in mortification and indignation. In all three hundred years of exile, the Holy Nation of the Son of God had never been so desperate. With only twenty-one warships, defending themselves against the smallest of the rival fleets might prove fatal. It would be many years, perhaps decades, before the Holy Nation could initiate an attack. How many more centuries would pass before they were finally able to annihilate the infidel fleets and restore their planet to its original glory?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Discerning something of Sanzanal\u2019s feelings in their telepathic exchange, the Divine One communicated with passion, I will secure a planet, and you will have your warriors, and with the aid of the Father, we will not only conquer the infidel fleets, but the galaxy as well. Even the Novaunians will bow to the Son of God incarnate.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sanzanal thrilled at his Master\u2019s declaration. Tohmazz Zarr was, indeed, the True Seed. What planet have you discovered that will provide me with these new warriors?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Earth. A savage planet that is waiting for a Messiah.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Sara Alexander tore open her letter and read eagerly as she jogged past the dogwood tree, its crimson leaves fluttering in the breeze. She laughed triumphantly as she rounded the corner of the garage into the backyard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara waved her letter at her parents, who were sitting together on the wooden swing in a cluster of tall, thin trees. \u201cTwo weeks from Sunday, President Grant will organize the Eden Colony Ward. Of course we will sustain a bishop and his counselors.\u201d She was not an apostate, and she would get her parents to admit it if it killed her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara\u2019s mother grabbed the letter from Sara\u2019s hand, her light brown eyebrows coming together in alarm as she read. Sara reveled in the glory of being right. \u201cYou can\u2019t now claim the Church won\u2019t support the colony.\u201d She turned away from her parents slightly and caught the basketball her brother Josh had fired at her, tossing it back and forth between her fingertips.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her father studied the letter for a moment as if taking a mental photograph, then looked up at Sara, his pale blue gaze delving into her soul in that way it always did, seeming to say, \u201cMy big brain records everything. I\u2019ve read everything. I know everything. If you don\u2019t do what I suggest, you\u2019re an idiot.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou seem to be ignoring the fine print, Sara. In this letter, the First Presidency makes it clear that the Church will not support this new ward and makes a plea to you and all of the other colonists to remain on Earth.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How could they be so dense? Why in the galaxy would the Church organize a ward it had no intention of supporting?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cC\u2019mon, Sara, shoot!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As Sara shot the basketball at the taller of the two hoops in the backyard, Rebecca and Daniel shot handfuls of black walnuts. Emily knocked more of the small green orbs out of the tree with the handle of a broken hoe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara remembered how much she had once enjoyed climbing the tree and shaking walnuts out of it. She turned to address her parents again. \u201cWe\u2019re being discouraged from going, not forbidden, and certainly not excommunicated. The Church will change its mind when the Brethren see how successful we are.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s unlikely the Brethren will see anything, since they will be here building Zion, on Earth, where they\u2019ve told us all to stay.\u201d Her mother\u2019s voice was tight and her dark eyes were fierce, as if she were trying hard not to lose her temper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara could feel her cheeks grow warm. \u201cBut we\u2019re going to be building Zion, just as the prophet has counseled! We\u2019re going to start with a virgin world, beautiful and perfect!\u201d Sara could hear Rebecca behind her, pounding the husks off of the walnuts with a bat, the bat clicking whenever it hit the nut inside the husk. As the husks flew, so did shrieks of delight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Too Cool rubbed her white face against her father\u2019s neck. Her father stroked the cat a little too hard, and she leapt out of his arms with a screech. His eyes were bright with urgency. \u201cCall me paranoid, Sara, but it doesn\u2019t take a genius to see that the Church and its allies in the Cooperative Communities are on the verge of withdrawing from Zarr\u2019s influence.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOur meetinghouses are being sold. We\u2019re moving to temple communities. BYU has closed its doors\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYour point?\u201d Her mother\u2019s reference to Brigham Young University annoyed Sara. She had attended classes there for two years and had run on the women\u2019s track team before she and all of the other out-of-state students had been sent home. Her initial educational plans had been ruined, and now her parents were trying to talk her out of going to Eden to study journalism with Barbara Thomassen Carroll, one of The Baltimore Sun<\/em>\u2019s finest columnists. Sara clenched her teeth and her fists to keep herself in control. She would not let them get to her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf you leave,\u201d her father said quietly, \u201cyou may separate yourself from the blessings of the Church for the rest of your mortal life. You will have a ward organization as long as it lasts, but you will never have a temple. You have no idea what you would be throwing away.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara shook her head, as if that gesture would shake away any possibility that she could be moved by the seriousness of her father\u2019s concern. Feeling abnormally hot, she removed her BYU track jacket and hung it on the limb of a wild cherry tree. \u201cDon\u2019t be ridiculous. In a few years, Earth will have a glorious space fleet and interstellar travel will be easy and inexpensive. Given the Church\u2019s determination to establish its presence in every country and put a temple in every capital, it will certainly follow us to Eden. The time will come when even you will want to visit!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat is assuming we\u2019re willing to travel in ships built by Tohmazz Zarr,\u201d her father said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe same Tohmazz Zarr the Brethren have been telling us to have no contact with for well over three years!\u201d her mother added, fanning her face with Sara\u2019s letter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Zack climbed on the swing and held a pulp-covered walnut under his mother\u2019s nose, his fingers stained yellow-green. \u201cCoconut, Mommy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her mother instinctively leaned against her father. \u201cDon\u2019t you come near me with that!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou know Tohmazz Zarr doesn\u2019t build those ships himself. Holy Nation Technologies does, and most of the employees are natives of Earth. That\u2019s hardly significant contact.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDon\u2019t be stupid, Sara!\u201d her mother exploded.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy are you and Sara fighting, Mommy?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Matthew yanked the walnut out of Zack\u2019s hand. \u201cGive me that!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAaron,\u201d her father called. \u201cCome and get Zack. Wipe off his hands and push him in the swing. Please.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aaron threw the basketball at Sara. She caught it and tossed it in the direction of the hoops. \u201cYou know it\u2019s impossible to completely avoid contact with them. They\u2019re everywhere! Unless you live in a cave.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara had heard Tohmazz Zarr speak when he had come to Baltimore more than a year ago, but she wasn\u2019t ready to admit it. The prospect of seeing a real live alien, especially one believed by his people to be a descendant of the resurrected Jesus Christ, had been too tantalizing to resist. And the miracles he could do! He healed people of terrible diseases and deformities and made deserts into gardens. The arena in Salt Lake City had been full when she heard Zarr speak there the previous spring. Apparently she wasn\u2019t the only member of the Church who was curious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat are we supposed to do? Kill them all? That would certainly be the Christian thing to do.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a rationalization, Sara, and you know it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s the truth, Mom, and you know it!\u201d Sara\u2019s heart raced, and her entire being felt as if it were on fire. She knew that the Spirit was bearing witness to her of the validity of her words. \u201cThey\u2019re Christians too!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHardly!\u201d her father gasped. \u201cTheir claims are blasphemous! They worship an anti-Christ! Even Christians who aren\u2019t members of our church recognize it! Antonio Vaccaro, that Catholic priest from Baltimore, was one of the first to denounce Tohmazz Zarr as an anti-Christ!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her father\u2019s outburst gratified Sara. It wasn\u2019t like him. He was usually so placid. She would win her point yet. \u201cHe can hardly be an anti-Christ when millions of former non-Christians now accept Christ as their Savior!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe people to whom you\u2019re referring are not converts of Christ, but converts of Zarr,\u201d her father countered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd the Guardians of Earth\u2019s Governments is made up of plenty of people who are more believers in the sovereignty of their nations than in God. Some of them are atheists! So why not claim that the United States is the \u2018great and abominable church\u2019? The \u2018mother of all harlots\u2019? \u2018Babylon the great?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cZarr is the enemy, Sara,\u201d her mother said in frustration. \u201cWhy can\u2019t you get that through your head?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTohmazz Zarr is no more the enemy than that priest from Baltimore. Both are serving Christ according to the dictates of their own consciences.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease, Sara. Don\u2019t be so na\u00efve.\u201d There was that big brain gaze again. Her father seemed to be weighing something in his mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her mother gripped his arm as if trying to restrain him, yet she looked as if she were the one determined to throw Sara to the ground and lock her in handcuffs. \u201cThere may be some Zarrists who are honorable and sincere, who really are worshiping God in the best way they know how, but that doesn\u2019t change the fact that as a race, they\u2019re dangerous to us.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Finally her father said, his voice grave, \u201cThere are very few people on this planet who understand how dangerous the Zarrists really are. The Brethren know what they\u2019re talking about, Sara. And so do discerning people like Antonio Vaccaro and even some of those atheists you\u2019re so quick to condemn.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As if her father were one of the few who did understand how supposedly dangerous the Zarrists were. That was one thing her father couldn\u2019t have learned from all of those books at the Library of Congress. \u201cThe fact still remains that it\u2019s impossible to avoid them.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her mother\u2019s grip on her father\u2019s arm loosened. \u201cDid it ever occur to the leader of your colony to find out why, if the Zarrists want the planet colonized, they haven\u2019t done it themselves? Or why such a beautiful planet is uninhabited?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure Dr. Carroll has asked all of those questions. He is an amazing leader.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOnly because he has an \u2018amazing\u2019 son!\u201d Josh called as the basketball hit the backboard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara would not allow her brother to destroy her credibility with talk of Cameron Carroll, even if Cameron was on a mission and wouldn\u2019t be joining his family on Eden for at least another two years, when the first exchange of colonists would take place. Feeling hotter than ever, Sara slipped her blue hair elastic off of her wrist and twisted her hair into a messy bun. Refusing to acknowledge her brother\u2019s taunt, she said to her parents, \u201cEven you can\u2019t ignore Dr. Carroll\u2019s qualifications.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara\u2019s mother shot her father a meaningful look and smirked. \u201cYeah, Psychological Keys to Building Zion<\/em>. That\u2019s a real winner.\u201d She began folding Sara\u2019s letter into a paper airplane.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt was an excellent book, and so were all of the others.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara\u2019s father waved his hand in a dismissive way. \u201cPsychobabble mixed with scripture.\u201d Too Cool jumped into his lap, trying to regain his attention.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her mother aimed the airplane letter at the walnut harvesters. \u201cHis books rank right up there with Cain\u2019s Sandal Size and Other Vital Gospel Doctrines<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara snatched her letter from her mother\u2019s fingertips. Where did she come up with these absurd titles? Did she lie in bed at night and dream them up? What intellectual stimulation! She couldn\u2019t help but observe that Barbara Thomassen Carroll created real titles for real books and articles that were read by real people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd What I Learned about the New Testament by Sleeping in a Bed Belonging to the Prophet\u2019s Brother<\/em>,\u201d her father added with a nod.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara had never been so irritated by her parents\u2019 hobby of dreaming up parodies of book titles. \u201cHe has degrees in both business and organizational psychology, and he and his firm have been bringing emotional healing, ethics, and cooperative management to organizations all over the world for years!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHauling in the bucks by working as a consultant for Holy Nation Technologies, you mean,\u201d her mother declared.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhile plenty of others with similar credentials have refused to do business with the Zarrists, consecrated their wealth to the Church, and moved into temple communities,\u201d her father added.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut Dr. Carroll is such a powerful influence for good. How can you not see that? And he\u2019s been a bishop!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her father looked at her pointedly. \u201cWhich makes his fall to apostasy all the more tragic.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara unfolded her letter and began smoothing it between her fingers. \u201cYou have no idea what you\u2019re talking about! You\u2019re not even a high priest. Dr. Carroll\u2019s a great man. Even the Brethren realize it!\u201d Sometimes she wished her father were more like Dr. Carroll, more polished, more ambitious, more the dynamic spiritual leader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCarroll\u2019s personal righteousness or lack of it has nothing to do with why the Church has finally consented to allow the Eden Colony to be organized into a ward.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou\u2019re wrong. The Church realizes we are all good members of the Church who want to do our part creating Zion in a unique way.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo,\u201d her mother said, the swing creaking as she began to rock, \u201cthe Church got tired of Carroll\u2019s nagging and finally decided to give him what he wants.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How could she make them understand? \u201cDr. Carroll did not nag. He simply bore witness to the fact that the Lord wants him to lead this Zion colony on Eden.\u201d How could she convince them that the Lord had called her, too, to be a part of this glorious new colony? She had known her destiny lay in space for a year at least. \u201cThe prophet, being the awesome spiritual giant he is, recognized the will of the Lord in this matter and made it happen.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her mother shook her head. \u201cJoseph Smith nagged the Lord to let Martin Harris take the first one hundred and sixteen pages of the Book of Mormon manuscript\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat in the galaxy does that have to do with anything?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEverything. You know the story. The Lord finally agreed, the manuscript was stolen, and the prophet lost the ability to translate for some time. If we nag the Lord long and loudly enough, He may just give us what we want.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI can\u2019t believe how ignorant you are. I\u2019ll go to Eden if I have to walk<\/em> to the spaceport.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Trendaul Alexander hung a handful of shirts and dresses in the closet. Teri, his wife, set a basket of folded clothes on the floor. Instead of tossing her earrings into the jewelry box and collapsing on the bed as she usually did, she carefully removed her earrings and placed them on an earring tree. Trendaul knew she was upset when she actually began putting the clothes away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trendaul sat down in the light brown swivel rocker next to the bed and took off his shoes. Worry fogged his mind and confusion paralyzed him. He didn\u2019t know what to do or what to say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Teri forced two pairs of jeans into an already stuffed drawer. \u201cI can\u2019t believe the Church is actually going to organize those people into a ward.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trendaul, too, wondered why the Church planned to take this unprecedented step. He had not been able to think about anything else all evening. Perhaps Sara was correct in her opinion that the Church would eventually follow the colony into space. He couldn\u2019t help but believe, as much as he tried to convince himself otherwise for Sara\u2019s sake, that when the Eden Colony left Earth, they would be separating themselves from Zion forever. \u201cIt does complicate matters.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Teri removed the red claw clip from her hair, the ringlets falling to her shoulders. Her hair color had never been \u201cdirty blond\u201d to Trendaul as it was to his children. In the soft light of their bedroom, her hair looked like gold, and it always moved, mesmerizing him. Teri combed through her hair with her fingers and shook her head. \u201cShe wouldn\u2019t go without a ward.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara\u2019s ability to believe she was a devout member of the Church while accepting Zarr\u2019s propaganda sickened Trendaul. \u201cI\u2019m not so sure anymore.\u201d He held his arm out to his wife, hoping she would come to him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Teri took his hand and allowed him to draw her into his lap. \u201cThen you\u2019re more convinced than ever that Zarr has a telepathic hold on her mind.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes,\u201d he whispered, laying his head against her neck. How could he, of all people, have allowed this monster to violate his own daughter?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou\u2019re certain she can fight it?\u201d She didn\u2019t sound certain. Trendaul was relieved he could give her hope on that level at least.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAbsolutely. She just doesn\u2019t want to.\u201d Trendaul couldn\u2019t understand why Sara didn\u2019t want to fight the bond. What was it about Eden that so enamored her? Or was it Benjamin and Barbara Carroll and their accomplished, beautiful family she was in love with?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Teri stroked Trendaul\u2019s hair, ever so gently, almost tentatively. \u201cPerhaps it\u2019s time to give her a reason to want to.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trendaul knew what it had cost Teri to say those words. She couldn\u2019t help but be afraid for him and for their family. He looked up and gazed into those brown eyes that had always been so exotic and yet so familiar. \u201cYou didn\u2019t want me to \u2018give her a reason to want to\u2019 this afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course I didn\u2019t. The thought of it scares me to death.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It terrified Trendaul. In her present state of mind, Sara might tell anyone. \u201cI shouldn\u2019t tell her anything. I still have a mission to finish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Teri reached for the dresser and a tissue to blow her nose. \u201cA mission you may never be able to finish anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Panic gripped Trendaul. \u201cDon\u2019t say that.\u201d What had happened to his compatriots? Why hadn\u2019t anyone contacted him? If he relocated, they might not have time to find him and seven years\u2019 worth of work would be lost. Even so, he dared not wait longer than the end of the year to move his family to a temple community, either the one surrounding the Washington, D.C. Temple or the one supporting the temple in Kansas City, where his wife\u2019s family resided.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trendaul knew it was only a matter of time before the countries of the Earth united to form the Federation of Earth Nations, with Zarr\u2019s Holy Nation of the Son of God as the presiding nation. Most Earthons believed that submitting to the leadership of this benevolent alien nation, whose knowledge and experience was so much greater than theirs, would enable their planet to take its rightful position in the interstellar community in the least amount of time, gaining them unimaginable wealth, influence, and new technology.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once the United States became the first nation to give up its sovereignty to join Zarr\u2019s empire-disguised-as-an-innocuous-federation, all of those who shunned the Zarrists would be in danger of being labeled as traitors and be killed . . . or worse. Trendaul wanted to be safe inside a temple community long before that happened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Teri slid off of Trendaul\u2019s lap. \u201cIf you don\u2019t tell Sara about her heritage and she goes to Eden, we\u2019ll both regret it forever.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trendaul knew Teri was right. \u201cAre you sure? Are you absolutely sure you want me to do this?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe have no other choice.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh, I can think of a great many choices.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Teri headed toward the bathroom. \u201cGo now, before I change my mind.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cShe\u2019s probably asleep.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Teri spun around to face him again, her fists on her hips. \u201cGo! Or I\u2019ll tell her myself!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Return to the top<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Chapter 2: The Librarian<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trendaul sat at the top of the steps with his head in his hand at least five minutes before he gained the courage to knock on Sara\u2019s bedroom door. \u201cPlease, Father,\u201d he said under his breath, closing his eyes for an extra moment when he blinked. \u201cHelp me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The door opened slightly, and Sara peered out with a scowl. \u201cIf you\u2019re here to reprimand me for going to Eden, I\u2019m not interested.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was going to be a long night, and seminary class would come all too early in the morning. \u201cIt isn\u2019t that.\u201d He tried to add, \u201cNot exactly,\u201d but his voice froze.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara had inherited his straight black hair and his family\u2019s height, but her eyes, the velvety blue of morning glories, had come from Krista. Sara\u2019s features, smooth and lively like those of a little girl, softened into an expression so like Krista\u2019s that Trendaul\u2019s apprehension melted. He could hear Sara\u2019s finger scratching the back of the door. \u201cThen what?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Teri was right. He had to tell her. Krista would have told her. \u201cI have something . . . critical . . . to tell you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The door squeaked as Sara widened it. She wore nylon shorts and a Kansas City Royals T-shirt sent by her grandparents with the sleeves cut off and the crew collar cut out. Trendaul couldn\u2019t refrain from laughing. Sara was such an Orioles fan that to wear the shirt at all, even to bed, probably made her feel like a traitor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara rolled her eyes and threw up her arms. \u201cStop laughing at my shirt!\u201d She turned and walked to her bed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trendaul followed her into the room, closing the door behind him. He sat down on her bed, glancing at the art posters attached to the walls. Krista had chosen the first few posters, and Sara added new ones to the collection every time she visited an area art gallery. Such a visible reminder of Krista gave him strength.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara slid under her quilt, which Teri had constructed long ago from the fabric of old jeans, and pulled it to her chin. Thankfully she was smiling. Trendaul knew that if he didn\u2019t tell her now, he never would. \u201cDo you remember how Josh, when he was about ten, used to claim that he had been adopted? That he was really from Mars?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara chuckled. \u201cHow could I forget something so endearingly silly?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt was endearingly silly. And it was also relatively close to being true.\u201d He couldn\u2019t count how often he and Teri had laughed at the irony.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara became very still. \u201cYou mean he really was adopted? Does that mean that I\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo. Neither one of you were adopted. But Josh was right about one point.\u201d Trendaul hoped the tone of his voice wasn\u2019t too mischievous. \u201cHis father is an alien.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara burst out laughing. Trendaul laughed too. He couldn\u2019t have delivered that line in a serious tone if someone had held a laser to his back. It really did sound ridiculous.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI guess now I have an excuse not to listen to you,\u201d Sara teased. \u201cI wouldn\u2019t want to go against the counsel of the prophet.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As if she needed an excuse! \u201cThe prophet has only told us not to have contact with Zarr and his people. He\u2019s never said anything about Novaunians.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cZarrists . . . Novaunians . . . what\u2019s the difference?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All desire for lightheartedness fled. \u201cThe primary difference is that Novaunians worship Christ. The Zarrists worship an anti-Christ.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara stared at him in astonishment. \u201cYou\u2019re serious, aren\u2019t you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m afraid so.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDoes Mom know?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes, of course. I told her long before we were married. Your grandparents know too.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara\u2019s gaze found its way to the reproduction of \u201cYoung Mother Sewing,\u201d by Mary Cassatt. \u201cAnd my real mother?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cShe was a Novaunian also.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara looked away, attempting to absorb this new information.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cComing to Earth, in fact, was your mother\u2019s idea.\u201d Trendaul decided to leave it at that. Sara would ask the questions she wanted answered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Finally Sara\u2019s gaze met his. \u201cThen I have no Earth blood at all running through my veins.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNone whatsoever.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy did you wait so long to tell me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trendaul detected strain in her voice. Was she angry? Betrayed? Or simply curious? \u201cBecause I couldn\u2019t take the chance that you might inadvertently tell someone.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhich means you\u2019re in a certain amount of danger.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trendaul had longed for years to live as a Novaunian openly. \u201cI\u2019m in a considerable amount of danger. If Tohmazz Zarr finds out who I am, he\u2019ll kill me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh, that\u2019s ridiculous! He\u2019s no murderer!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAll right. He\u2019s no murderer. He would try to \u2018cleanse\u2019 my mind the way he has \u2018cleansed\u2019 the minds of so many of the world\u2019s criminals. Zarr\u2019s \u2018cleansing\u2019 is nothing less than telepathic slavery. Since I will never allow Zarr or anyone else to break my mind, I would probably die resisting. Either way, I\u2019m a dead man.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara relaxed against the back of the bed and folded her arms. \u201cAre your people at war, then, with Zarr\u2019s people?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes, in a manner of speaking. Our people are at war with the Zarrists and the many other Diron nations the way the early Americans were at war with pirates on the open seas.\u201d Or at least he believed they were still at war. A lot could have changed in twenty years. He had no doubt, though, that Zarr and his people were Dirons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara\u2019s eyes shone with fascination. \u201cSo what do they supposedly steal?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cArelada. The Dirons call it spirit crystal.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s that strange, slightly luminous crystal they all wear in their clothing and jewelry, isn\u2019t it? Why is it so valuable?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt makes telepathy possible. With telepathy, Zarr is able to create mind bonds with people who hear him speak.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara frowned. \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trendaul tried to keep his explanation simple. \u201cWhen Zarr speaks, he uses a telepathic process to expand his spirit to embrace all who are listening. It makes the listeners feel wonderful, as if they\u2019re communicating with God. Through this process, Zarr telepathically gains control of one brain cell. With this bond, the listener then becomes vulnerable to Zarr\u2019s telepathic suggestions.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara shook her head quickly. \u201cBut that doesn\u2019t make any sense! If arelada is required for telepathic communication, how can Zarr mind-bond with people like me who don\u2019t have arelada? \u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cArelada is required to transmit thoughts and to expand one\u2019s spirit. To receive thoughts, however, all a person has to do is open his mind.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHave you heard Zarr speak?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trendaul could hear the accusation in her voice. \u201cNo, I haven\u2019t.\u201d He could have listened to Tohmazz Zarr speak without being affected, and he would have gained much useful information for Novaun by attending a speech, but he refused to live a double standard with his children. \u201cThe process I described is an old one and illegal on most planets.\u201d The old Latanzan monarchy had been overthrown many centuries ago for using it on its citizens, and there had been a time, over a thousand years ago, when Gudynean parents had used it to keep their children obedient.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo what makes you think Zarr uses it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBecause it\u2019s the only thing I can think of that explains why he has gained such an enormous following among such diverse people in such a short period of time.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWell, he has not<\/em> used it on me!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou did hear him speak,\u201d Trendaul said gingerly. If he made her angry now, he might never regain her attention. \u201cYour mother found the base ship key ring.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAll right. I have heard him speak. Who hasn\u2019t? He doesn\u2019t control my mind.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trendaul shook his head. Too quickly, perhaps. He wanted too much to pacify her. \u201cNo, of course he doesn\u2019t. You\u2019re no Eslavu who has had her mind drained. If he has created a telepathic bond with you, he has certainly gained significant influence over you, but he can\u2019t force you to do anything. You can fight it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou think he has, don\u2019t you? That\u2019s why you\u2019re telling me all of this stuff now.\u201d The pitch of Sara\u2019s voice rose and the color of her cheeks changed from milk-white to pink. \u201cYou think you can use this new information to persuade me to stay home. How dare you!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cListen to yourself, Sara!\u201d She would hear the truth before she ordered him out of her room. \u201cI tell you that both you and I are of Novaunian race, and instead of asking me why I came to Earth or what kind of planet Novaun is, the only topic you want to discuss is Tohmazz Zarr. What am I supposed to think?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy did you come to Earth?\u201d Sara demanded, as if embarking on an interrogation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trendaul didn\u2019t like Sara\u2019s tone, but he wanted her to know something of himself and Novaun. \u201cTo telepathically record Earth\u2019s most significant records. My job was to record the obscure material. Your mother recorded documents from the local libraries and the Internet.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He could see that his explanation made sense to her. She and the other children, along with almost everyone else he knew, had always believed he was an employee of the Library of Congress. She rolled her eyes. \u201cWhich explains why you always think you know so much.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trendaul chose to ignore that statement. \u201cOn Novaun, people with my particular telepathic skills are called librarians. Your real mother was a librarian also. We studied together.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWill you ever go back to Novaun?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you know?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI haven\u2019t had contact with another Novaunian for many years.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCan\u2019t you just send thought waves to Novaun and tell them you want to go home?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trendaul shook his head. \u201cIt would take many people to transmit a message over that distance and far more arelada than I possess.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The interrogation act disappeared for a moment. Sara leaned toward him, her eyes widening. \u201cYou actually have some arelada? May I see it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trendaul again shook his head. \u201cI put it in a safe box when the Zarrists arrived.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She smirked. \u201cDid Novaun forget about you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trendaul was determined not to let her provoke him. \u201cNot likely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen why doesn\u2019t someone come and offer you a ride home?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe presence of Tohmazz Zarr\u2019s fleet in Earth\u2019s space territory makes that more difficult.\u201d Still, it wouldn\u2019t be impossible. What was keeping his compatriots?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy did Novaun send you here secretly? Why didn\u2019t the Novaunians make public contact with Earth twenty years ago?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSince Earth is on the verge of passing into terrestrial glory, Novaun doesn\u2019t see a need to ever have dealings with it in any kind of official way.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After living on Earth for twenty years, Trendaul believed Novaun\u2019s policy was na\u00efve. A race that preferred to stroll along the scenic route to the grocery store could not possibly understand a race that sprinted to the exotic unknown at light speed. Earth would make its mark in space before God took it back into His presence, like an explosion in the night sky on the Fourth of July. And if a significant number of natives became proficient in telepathy, Earth would become especially volatile. Trendaul could only pray that the Novaunian government realized Earth\u2019s potential as a destructive force before too many good Fleet men lost their lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNovaunians know the prophecies?\u201d Sara asked in surprise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes, of course. The Council of Prophets canonized the Standard Works of the Church several decades ago. The New Testament, in particular, is precious to us.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo Novaunians believe that the Savior visited them after His resurrection in the same way He visited the Nephites on the American Continent.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes, but He didn\u2019t<\/em> take a Novaunian bride and with His perfect, glorified body father a dynasty of so-called divine emperors!\u201d Trendaul shuddered at the thought. Tohmazz Zarr\u2019s claim was as disgusting as it was preposterous, and he couldn\u2019t blame the Dirons for throwing the Zarrists out of power.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI know the Zarrists have their faults, but you\u2019ll have to admit, they are fascinating. And they have a lot to offer.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThey offer telepathic slavery. Is that what you want?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cZarr and his people have been here for more than three years. If they really are so dangerous, why hasn\u2019t Novaun changed its policy about official contact and warned us?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why was she so determined to discredit Novaun? Was that the mind bond as well? \u201cThe Brethren, along with perceptive people of other belief systems, have been warning us about Zarr ever since he arrived. If Earthons refuse to listen to the prophet and other leaders in their respective communities, why should they listen to the Novaunians?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy didn\u2019t Novaun stop Zarr and his people from making contact?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI doubt Novaun even knew Zarr made contact until well after it happened.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCouldn\u2019t Novaun have stationed a fleet here to guard us?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEven Novaun has a limit to its resources.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDoesn\u2019t Novaun care that this supposedly evil anti-Christ is taking advantage of a planet too primitive to fight back?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNovaunians do what they can to help other races, but they can\u2019t be everywhere all the time and they don\u2019t even try. They do take comfort in the knowledge that God will warn His other children of danger in the ways best suited to them. They assume Earthons are smart enough to listen to those warnings.\u201d Trendaul knew Sara would take his statement as a personal attack, but it was the truth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara glared at him. \u201cObviously, Novaun cares quite a bit less about Earth than Zarr\u2019s Holy Nation does. Novaun only observes, while Zarr and his people work hard to help us into space.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cZarr\u2019s motives are far from altruistic, I assure you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd Novaun\u2019s motives seem even less altruistic.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trendaul winced to hear Novaun so ignorantly attacked. \u201cHow can I make you understand? Novaun is a great Union of over two thousand planets. It\u2019s Zion on a galactic level. Novaun isn\u2019t perfect, but it\u2019s achieved a level of righteousness as a society beyond anything you\u2019ve ever dreamed of.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen you\u2019re even more of a hypocrite than I thought you were.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What bitter irony! The information Trendaul had hoped would change Sara\u2019s mind was making her more determined than ever. He mentally chastised himself for not anticipating that twist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve been telling me for months that I shouldn\u2019t go to Eden, and now I find out that you left your home planet\u2014not just any planet, but a Zion planet\u2014when you were about my age and haven\u2019t been back since.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI did not leave Novaun against the counsel of the High Prophet.\u201d The argument always seemed to come back to that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut you did leave your family, perhaps for the rest of your mortal life. How could you do that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMy mission here was only supposed to last ten years. When the convoy came back to Earth ten years ago, your mother wasn\u2019t ready to leave her family yet. To be honest, I wasn\u2019t ready to leave either. I\u2019m still not sure I want to return to Novaun.\u201d As much as he missed his family, he wasn\u2019t sure he could give up his freedom, or the temple, or the feeling that Earth needed him far more than Novaun did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A true answer to that question would have taken all night, so Trendaul gave his daughter the shortened version. \u201cI like working in the temple too much.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThere aren\u2019t any temples on Novaun?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOn the contrary. Our houses of worship are large and individually designed, and there are sacred rooms in every one of them to do the higher ordinances. Novaunians do live ordinances, but there is no work to do for the dead. It\u2019s all been done.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo way!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trendaul nodded. \u201cIt\u2019s true.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf Novaun is so righteous, why hasn\u2019t it been taken into heaven like the City of Enoch?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt will help you to think of the most misquoted scripture in the Church.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c\u2018Unto whom much is given much is required?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trendaul nodded. \u201cNovaun has been given some interesting blessings that haven\u2019t been given to Earth. Obviously Novaunians haven\u2019t, as a race, done everything that is required of them yet.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat interesting blessings?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cFirst of all, while still in our premortal state, we didn\u2019t have a War in Heaven. We had a Great Debate. While one out of three spirits assigned to be born on Earth were cast out of Heaven with Lucifer, only one out of a hundred spirits assigned to be born on Novaun were cast out with the spirit we call Perdition.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara opened her mouth to respond but couldn\u2019t; she was completely speechless.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAdam and Eve were commanded to multiply and replenish the earth. Novaun\u2019s first parents were commanded to multiply and replenish the galaxy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara finally found her voice. \u201cThat\u2019s bizarre!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trendaul smiled. \u201cYou see, I really am an alien.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf I really am a Novaunian spirit, doesn\u2019t that mean my desire to help colonize another planet is natural and right?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She was too quick, and Trendaul immediately wished he hadn\u2019t told her about Novaun\u2019s first parents. Then again, perhaps if he had revealed their Novaunian heritage long ago, he would have satisfied her innate curiosity and she wouldn\u2019t have felt a need to seek out Tohmazz Zarr. \u201cYour desire is natural, I\u2019ll concede that, but the way you\u2019re going about satisfying that desire is wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn your opinion.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo. In the Lord\u2019s opinion.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou are not the Lord!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, but the prophet speaks for the Lord, and he has told us all to remain on Earth.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf he feels so strongly about it, why is he going to organize us into a ward?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn my opinion<\/em>, the Church is organizing the Eden Colony into a ward instead of excommunicating its leaders because it wants to give those who go to Eden a chance to repent. Once Eden is cut off from Zion, repentance will be difficult, if not impossible without the official presence of the Church. I can only assume the Church believes most of the colonists will follow Carroll to Eden even if he is excommunicated.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019s an interesting theory. And very presumptuous.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her smugness and stupidity hurt him. How could this be his sweet little Sara? \u201cThe bishop won\u2019t be Benjamin Carroll or any of his cohorts,\u201d Trendaul said wryly, \u201cbut will be a man who is a true spiritual giant in every sense of the word. He\u2019ll have to be.\u201d How the Church hoped to find such a man among the colonists, Trendaul had no idea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trendaul stood to leave. \u201cI know my opinion doesn\u2019t matter much to you, but there it is.\u201d She only wanted to argue, and he was sick of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara\u2019s face blanched and tightened, as if she wanted to scream. She stared at him with wide, glistening eyes, then lowered her head and rested her hand against her forehead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGoodnight,\u201d Trendaul said coolly as he turned and headed toward the door. Expecting her to respond with a disrespectful remark, he was surprised instead to hear a restrained little gasp. He turned toward her again and asked quietly, \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She shook her head quickly, refusing to answer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trendaul couldn\u2019t help but feel irritated. It took every ounce of self-control he possessed to respond calmly, \u201cI\u2019d really like to know.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When Sara lifted her head, Trendaul could see that her eyes were filled with tears. \u201cYour opinion does matter to me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara\u2019s reply didn\u2019t make sense, but Trendaul knew it was sincere. He gazed at her blankly, trying to understand. She averted her eyes in embarrassment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Several moments passed before he could reconcile Sara\u2019s concern about his opinion with her determination to go to Eden against his wishes. He came to the conclusion that Sara\u2019s decision to go to Eden had been final for many months. The arguments since then had done nothing to persuade her to change her mind, but they had chipped away at the security she had always felt in his love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The decision took hold of him with such immediacy that he didn\u2019t have time to feel frightened. \u201cI understand why you want to go to Eden.\u201d She looked up at him again cautiously as he continued, \u201cI think you\u2019re wrong to go, but if it means anything to you, I believe your spiritual state is more one of confusion than apostasy, at least for now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara\u2019s eyebrows shot up. \u201cIs that supposed to make me feel better?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI guess that\u2019s up to you. I can\u2019t in any way approve of what you\u2019re doing, but I won\u2019t fight you anymore.\u201d It would be difficult, but she would leave knowing he loved her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara\u2019s face softened in shock. \u201cSeriously?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSeriously. I can\u2019t speak for your mother, but I will talk to her.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara almost smiled. \u201cIt won\u2019t do any good.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPerhaps she\u2019ll surprise you.\u201d Trendaul rested his hand on the doorknob. Before he could open the door to leave, he heard Sara speak again, her tone of voice tentative.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDad?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trendaul turned toward her one more time. \u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her face was pale and her eyes were troubled. \u201cIf I weren\u2019t going to Eden, and you were going back to Novaun, what would I do?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI would hope with my whole soul that you would come with me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd if I decided to stay here?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI would be heartbroken. And yet . . .\u201d Trendaul shrugged. \u201cI wouldn\u2019t worry about you. Not very much, anyway. You would have David and the rest of your mother\u2019s family to watch out for you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara picked at her quilt. Many moments passed before she asked, \u201cWhat would someone like me do on Novaun?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hope trickled through Trendaul. She was asking questions. She was interested in Novaun. Maybe there was a chance, after all, that she would give up her Eden quest. \u201cIf we were to return to Novaun, our first priority would be education, not just yours but that of your mother and your brothers and sisters as well. We would also, undoubtedly, spend a lot of time with my family. My mother, in fact, (and my aunts, and my sisters!) would probably want to introduce you to lots of people your own age.\u201d Trendaul smiled, but not too broadly. He didn\u2019t want to anger her again. \u201cThere would be young men galore. A virtual feast.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trendaul hoped Sara would laugh, but she cringed instead, as if the suggestion pained her. \u201cA feast of Novaunian men . . . that sounds absurd.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trendaul chuckled a little, nodding. \u201cThe women in my family wouldn\u2019t be able to help themselves, you understand. Most young women there are married by the time they\u2019re your age.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her eyes grew huge. \u201cReally?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYour mother and I were married when we were twenty, and we weren\u2019t completely typical. We had known each other all our lives and could have easily been married a year or two sooner.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy weren\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trendaul shrugged. \u201cWe were idiots.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara finally laughed. \u201cYou mean you couldn\u2019t make up your mind!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trendaul nodded, feeling a sense of peace he hadn\u2019t felt in months. \u201cWe were so comfortable together we didn\u2019t realize how much we loved each other.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou really were an idiot!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trendaul nodded again and decided to make his exit quickly, while Sara was in a pleasant mood. \u201cGoodnight, sweetie. I love you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara couldn\u2019t stop laughing. \u201cI love you too, Dad.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat happened?\u201d Teri demanded as soon as Trendaul closed their bedroom door behind him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cShe\u2019s going to Eden, or at least she\u2019s planning<\/em> to go to Eden. I think there\u2019s still a chance she may change her mind, but we have to stop pressuring her. I promised her I wouldn\u2019t make any more attempts to persuade her to stay. I told her I would ask you to do the same.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t be serious. How could she still believe she should go after everything you told her?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI actually made it worse. She now believes she\u2019s following in my footsteps.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut your coming to Earth wasn\u2019t the same at all.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt was the same, in some ways.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNot in the important ways.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, but she won\u2019t see that. Teri, we can\u2019t let her leave thinking we hate her. We both have to make a determined effort to be kind to her.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBe kind to her? I\u2019d like to strangle her!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI know it will be difficult, but we have to do everything in our power to make her last week-and-a-half here as pleasant as possible.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo you\u2019re going to let her go. Just like that. Have you lost your\u2014?\u201d Teri stopped herself and regarded him with interest. \u201cSo you made this decision. Just like that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course she was as intrigued as Sara had been amused only minutes before. Both Teri and Sara knew that he never made a decision without agonizing over it for weeks or even months. \u201cIt seemed like the right thing to do at the time.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIs it the right thing to do or isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt is.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Teri smiled at him with renewed respect. \u201cThen I\u2019ll support you in it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Teri\u2019s trust had always amazed Trendaul. Love surged through him and he drew her into his arms. As she pressed closer, caressing his jaw with her lips, he whispered, \u201cI\u2019m going to regret my decision.\u201d \u201cYou always do.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Return to the top<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Chapter 3: Doubts and Dreams<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

While Sara was at work at the health club the next day, her bishop called and told her he wanted to meet with her that evening in his office. She went, of course, as she had often in the past several months, but she knew it would be a waste of both her time and the bishop\u2019s. Bishop Eric Lanham was a good man who was trying to do the right thing, but he just didn\u2019t understand. The two of them simply weren\u2019t on the same planet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During their first interview, while she was in the process of interviewing with Dr. Carroll and other key people, Bishop Lanham had read one of the prophet\u2019s recent talks with her and asked, \u201cDo you believe the prophet speaks for the Lord?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes, I do. He gives us general advice from the Lord that we must adapt to our individual situations by going to the Lord ourselves.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOur prophet and apostles have warned us repeatedly not to have contact with the Zarrists. Don\u2019t you think it would be safer to follow this counsel than not?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course the Lord, through the Brethren, counsels this. Zarr claims to be Divine, a direct descendant of the resurrected Christ. Most members simply can\u2019t handle that kind of attack on their testimonies. I know Zarr\u2019s claims are preposterous. For those of us who are strong enough to handle it, there is no danger.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhich is why you are now a supporter of Zarr.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou are mistaken. I don\u2019t support Zarr. But I do understand that he poses no danger and am not afraid of him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat if he really is dangerous? Then wouldn\u2019t your lack of fear be misguided?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAbsolutely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHe is dangerous, Sara. The Lord has said it Himself through His prophet. I know this is true. True for me, true for you, true for everyone.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The last time Sara had talked with Bishop Lanham, he had presented her with an absurd situation. \u201cYou are engaged and feel very strongly that you should be intimate with your fianc\u00e9 before you marry him. Would this strong feeling be from God?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course not!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBecause sex without marriage is wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEven if the Lord reveals to you that, in this case, since you will be getting married anyway, it\u2019s all right?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe Lord wouldn\u2019t tell anyone that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBecause it\u2019s never right.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow do you know?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe scriptures say so. The prophets have said so. Common sense says so.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen where does this intense feeling come from?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cA person who thinks she should be intimate with her fianc\u00e9 before she marries him would be mistaking her own intense desire for intimacy for the Spirit.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo what the prophet has said about sex transcends any strong personal desires or drives we may have?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes. Absolutely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut what he says about avoiding contact with the Zarrists and remaining on Earth to build up Zion does not?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, because there is nothing inherently wrong with colonizing space.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThere\u2019s nothing inherently wrong with sex either, but the Lord does set some basic boundaries for its practice, just as He has set boundaries for space colonization.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The bishop was comparing space colonization with sex? Now Sara had heard everything! \u201cI can\u2019t believe we\u2019re having this discussion.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDo you understand the comparison or don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes. Yes, of course.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIsn\u2019t it possible, Sara, that you\u2019re mistaking your own strong desire to go to Eden as inspiration?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No. She and Bishop Lanham were not on the same planet. They weren\u2019t even in the same solar system!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For some odd reason, both of Sara\u2019s parents always insisted on being with her at the stake center when she had an interview with Bishop Lanham. They rarely exchanged more than a few words with the bishop before and after these meetings; they merely sat in the foyer and waited.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This evening was no different. Bishop Lanham, an attorney in his early thirties, stepped into the foyer, dressed in a gray pinstriped suit, his teal tie lying neatly against his starched shirt. He shook hands with Sara and her parents and motioned her into his office.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI have something interesting to share with you, Sara,\u201d he said pleasantly as he closed the door behind them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara moved a chair closer to the desk and sat down. \u201cWhat? Have you looked into your crystal ball and seen Parkridge\u2019s victory against Urbana tomorrow night?\u201d She knew as well as he did that Urbana was supposed to win the football game, but she couldn\u2019t resist teasing him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bishop Lanham sat down behind his desk. \u201cThe Panthers will be Hawk food!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI understand the Hawks got a taste of Owl last week.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe Hawks feasted<\/em> on Owl last week,\u201d the bishop corrected. \u201cThose Westminster boys didn\u2019t have a chance. Will Josh be conducting the band tomorrow night?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWho else?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll definitely have to drive over for the game then.\u201d Bishop Lanham removed a sheet of paper from his desk and handed it to Sara.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She took it from him in curiosity, seeing immediately that it was a letter from the First Presidency, a longer letter than she had received in the mail the day before. \u201cIs this why you wanted to see me tonight?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt is. I\u2019ve been instructed to read and discuss this letter with you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe Eden Colony is getting a ward, you know,\u201d Sara announced, feeling vindicated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI know, but it doesn\u2019t matter. Let\u2019s have a prayer, and then I\u2019ll read and you follow along.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The letter started by reiterating the prophet\u2019s counsel to shun contact with the Zarrists, remain on Earth, and gather to temple communities under the direction of their respective bishops and stake presidents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As Bishop Lanham read, Sara couldn\u2019t help but believe that members of the Church would actually be more independent from the Zarrists on Eden. The colonists were obviously following the prophet\u2019s counsel in that regard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn Doctrine and Covenants section 101, verses 20 and 22 it says: \u2018And, behold, there is none other place appointed than that which I have appointed; neither shall there be any other place appointed than that which I have appointed, for the work of the gathering of my saints\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Behold, it is my will, that all they who call on my name, and worship me according to mine everlasting gospel, should gather together, and stand in holy places;\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara wanted to shout: \u201cBut we are gathering, to the most beautiful, holy place we know of!\u201d Didn\u2019t the fact that the Lord was organizing a ward there prove it was an official gathering place of some kind?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The bishop went on: \u201cThe planet called Eden has not been designated by the Lord as a gathering place and is, therefore, not entitled to the blessings of Zion.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What blessings? Sara wondered. Protection? Surely the Lord wouldn\u2019t abandon them. They were, after all, doing the best they could to serve him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe Lord proclaims in D&C 1:14: \u2018And the arm of the Lord shall be revealed; and the day cometh that they who will not hear the voice of the Lord, neither the voice of his servants, neither give heed to the words of the prophets and apostles, shall be cut off from among the people;\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara knew, without a doubt, that the colonists had every intention of following the prophet and apostles, or would, as long as the prophet didn\u2019t abandon them! Was it possible the prophet had misunderstood Dr. Carroll\u2019s vision? Evidently the Lord hadn\u2019t, otherwise He wouldn\u2019t have directed the prophet to organize the colonists into a ward!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bishop Lanham concluded reading the letter. \u201cWe fear that if you follow through with your plan to establish a colony on Eden, you will be putting yourselves in danger, both physically and spiritually. The Lord needs every one of you to do your part to build Zion here on Earth. We urge you to give up your imprudent quest for a colony on Eden.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYour brethren of the First Presidency.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara set her copy of the letter on Bishop Lanham\u2019s desk. The letter, from a certain perspective, did counsel the colonists to remain on Earth. The Spirit, however, had strongly manifested to her that her life\u2019s mission lay on Eden. Sara concluded that the Lord had plans for Eden He hadn\u2019t yet revealed to the prophet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bishop Lanham looked solemnly up from his copy of the letter. \u201cWhat are you thinking about right now, Sara?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m wondering why the prophet would counsel so strongly against going to Eden and yet still organize the colony into a ward.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLet me ask you this. Does the Lord approve of divorce?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSometimes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAs a general principle.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo. The New Testament teaches that clearly enough, and we do believe in eternal marriage.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo you and I both agree the Lord would prefer all married couples to live their lives together in such a way that they would never want to divorce.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara nodded thoughtfully.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf this is the case, why does the Lord allow the Church to recognize divorce?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBecause we live in such an imperfect world and sometimes divorce, as bad as it is, is better than the alternative.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s my opinion that the prophet is organizing the Eden Colony Ward because such an action is better than the alternative.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhich would be excommunicating Dr. Carroll and allowing the colony to fend for itself?\u201d Sara understood what the bishop was driving at, but going to Eden to create Zion was hardly the same as getting a divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWould you follow Dr. Carroll to Eden if he were excommunicated?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dr. Carroll had put all of his professional and spiritual expertise into planning the Eden community, his whole heart and soul, and for this he would be excommunicated? The mere thought of it enraged Sara. \u201cThis is hardly an issue since Dr. Carroll has not<\/em> been excommunicated!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow do you know?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara clenched her fists on the desk in front of her. \u201cThe Church does not<\/em> excommunicate righteous men!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt isn\u2019t my intention to make you angry, Sara,\u201d Bishop Lanham said gently, leaning toward her a little. \u201cBut I do want you to understand that the Church might have taken action against Dr. Carroll that you wouldn\u2019t know about.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI can\u2019t help it. I am<\/em> angry.\u201d Feeling guilty for being angry with her bishop, a leader she had been taught her whole life to support and respect, Sara forced herself to breathe deeply and relax her muscles, regaining some of her composure. \u201cI\u2019m sorry. I know you\u2019re trying to help me, but you just don\u2019t understand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPerhaps it would help if I explain the Church\u2019s policy regarding people who have contact with Tohmazz Zarr.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes,\u201d Sara replied, her anger dissipating. \u201cI would like to know the official policy and how it applies to Dr. Carroll and the Eden Colony.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou already know that few, if any, members who have contact with Zarr and his people are excommunicated or even disfellowshipped, even those who are vocal supporters such as Dr. Carroll and his wife. What you may not know, however, is that as stakes are dissolved, the records of those who have not consecrated their wealth and moved into a temple community are sent to Salt Lake. These people may choose to attend services in a temple community, but they are not official members of a ward and will not have callings or be actively fellowshipped.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What the bishop described made sense. \u201cSo a person who doesn\u2019t choose to join a temple community basically cuts himself off from the Church, not the other way around.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPrecisely. As far as I know, the only exception to this is when a person is in a situation such as your uncle at the Naval Academy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara nodded that she understood. David had no choice but to live on campus. The Annapolis Stake had been dissolved the previous June, and he and the other LDS midshipmen were assigned to a singles ward in the Silver Spring Stake, the easternmost stake in the Washington, D.C. Temple Community.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cUntil our stake is dissolved, I, as a bishop, have been instructed to work with members who are sympathetic to Zarr\u2019s cause to persuade them to see their error. One of the first steps we\u2019re taking with those who are less active, of course, is encouraging them to attend church. As for those who are active, I\u2019m counseled to release them from leadership positions and deny them temple recommends and impose other types of probation.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou\u2019re suggesting Dr. Carroll may not have a current temple recommend? That\u2019s absurd!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know what Dr. Carroll\u2019s status is. I\u2019m not his bishop or his stake president. That\u2019s my point. I don\u2019t know and neither do you. Frankly, you can\u2019t assume that even a bishop always knows a ward member\u2019s worthiness; people have been known to lie to their bishops about all kinds of things.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cReally?\u201d Sara said, stunned. \u201cWhy? I mean, what\u2019s the point of being a member of the Church if you\u2019re going to lie?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThere are people who are more worried about appearing righteous than being righteous. You cannot assume a person is following a correct course just because he or she acts like an active member of the Church, nor can you assume the same if you haven\u2019t heard a public announcement that he or she has been excommunicated. The Church isn\u2019t going to excommunicate every person who may preach false doctrine to you or who would lead you down a wrong path. Ultimately, the Lord expects you to be spiritually discerning and take responsibility for recognizing and rejecting false doctrine and those who preach it on your own.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara stared absently over Bishop Lanham\u2019s shoulder at the picture of Jesus Christ, twisting one of the buttons on her long black skirt. Lying to the bishop was like lying to the Lord. Did active members of the Church really do that? Some must. Bishop Lanham wouldn\u2019t tell her something like that if it weren\u2019t true.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWill you promise to do something for me, Sara?\u201d Bishop Lanham said softly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara focused on the bishop again. His gray-blue eyes gazed at her as if he could see right through her. \u201cI don\u2019t know. It depends.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bishop Lanham tapped Sara\u2019s copy of the letter they had read. \u201cWill you commit to study this letter and pray about it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara nodded. She wanted to read the letter again anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd if after doing that you feel any doubts about going to Eden at all, will you promise to reconsider your decision?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Again, Sara nodded. That much was self-evident.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhile you\u2019re pondering and praying about this letter, will you promise not to have contact with Dr. Carroll or any other member of the Eden Colony?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara shook her head. \u201cI don\u2019t think I can do that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen can you commit to keep yourself from communicating with Dr. Carroll and all other members of the Eden Colony until next Tuesday?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara hesitated. She and her three Eden Internet friends from the Baltimore-Washington area had dinner at Don Pablo\u2019s in Columbia every Saturday night, and Dr. Carroll usually joined them. She loved those dinners with her friends and didn\u2019t want to miss the one on Saturday.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThis is important, Sara. I believe you need time to think alone<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Finally Sara nodded. She could do that much for the bishop.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood,\u201d the bishop said, sounding relieved. \u201cI\u2019d like to meet with you again next Tuesday evening.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Sometimes Sara talked to her parents about her meetings on the drive back to Parkridge from Frederick, and sometimes she didn\u2019t. That evening she said nothing, preferring to think, and they didn\u2019t press her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The bishop had received the letter they had read, but it had been addressed to her personally. This was detailed counsel directed specifically to her. Could it be that she really was wrong to go to Eden? That she was interpreting her own desires as the Spirit? Was it possible Dr. Carroll had lost his temple recommend or was on some other sort of probation? She didn\u2019t like the doubts this particular interview with her bishop had put into her mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When Sara and her parents returned home, Sara bade them good night and went to bed. Once in her room, Sara kicked off her shoes, stepped out of her skirt, and sat on her bed, crossing her legs in front of her and leaning her elbows into the sides of her knees. Her mind churned in confusion. She read the letter again and again, looking up the scriptures it referred to and reading entire chapters of the Doctrine and Covenants. Heavenly Father, I just want to have a successful life and do what is right for me, and I can\u2019t help but feel Dr. Carroll\u2019s Equality of Zion is the perfect answer. Please tell me what to do!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The phone rang and Sara jumped. She grabbed the phone before it could wake anyone up and put it to her ear. \u201cTony, I can\u2019t talk to you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t have to talk. Just listen.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI can\u2019t even listen. I\u2019ll talk to you in a few days. I made a promise to my bishop.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI talked to my bishop tonight too. That\u2019s the problem. I\u2019m having second thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTony, I promised!\u201d She hung up and dropped the phone on her bed, jumping up to put on her shorts and Royals shirt. Thinking about Tony Wright made her wish she hadn\u2019t made that promise to the bishop. Tony was as confused as she was, and she had hung up on him. Still, what else could she have done?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Deciding she needed to talk to Tony as much as he seemed to need to talk to her, she picked up the phone again and punched in the number for information. Within a minute, she had Bishop Lanham\u2019s number and was punching it frantically into the phone. His wife answered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cUh . . .\u201d Sara said, feeling ridiculous, \u201cI need\u2014I mean, may I speak with the bishop? This is Sara. Sara Alexander.\u201d Sara winced. How weak! Why in the galaxy was she doing this? She was nothing more than a silly girl who couldn\u2019t keep a promise for more than two hours, and the poor man needed to sleep.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Eventually Sara heard Bishop Lanham\u2019s voice in her ear. \u201cWhat can I do for you, Sara?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOne of my Eden friends called. Apparently he\u2019s been talking to his bishop also and is now having second thoughts. He wanted to talk about it, but I hung up on him. I want to talk to him too, but, you know, I promised.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd you want me to give you permission to call him back.\u201d Bishop Lanham sounded amused, in a nice way, and Sara felt more ridiculous than ever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI guess. Yes. It was rude of me to hang up on him and he\u2019s as confused as I am, so certainly there couldn\u2019t be any harm in talking to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWho is this friend of yours?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTony Wright. He\u2019s from Gaithersburg, and his family is now in Bethesda. I met him in Dr. Carroll\u2019s chat room online several months ago. Tony and I and the other two students from this area, Jordan Tressler and Marc McCabe, have dinner together in Columbia every Saturday evening.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDo you want to call Jordan and Marc also?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, actually I don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf you talk to Tony tonight, will you encourage him to stay on Earth or go to Eden?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNeither. We\u2019re both confused. I think we would talk about our confusion.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd you feel such a discussion would be productive?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara leaned her head into her hand and rubbed her temples with her thumb and middle two fingers. \u201cNo. You\u2019re right. Such a discussion would just muddle things more.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you e\u2011mail Tony and apologize for hanging up on him. Tell him you need time alone to think and that you\u2019ll get back to him in a few days.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara nodded, even though she knew the bishop couldn\u2019t see her. \u201cI could do that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPerhaps both of you will decide, on your own, to stay home. After the Eden transport leaves Earth, you can take him to a Navy football game.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara laughed a little, releasing her head and looking up at the ceiling. \u201cHe\u2019s a die-hard University of Maryland fan. I\u2019m not sure he would want to go see the Midshipmen when he could watch or listen to the Terps.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHe\u2019s a student at Maryland, then?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWas. He finished his undergraduate degree last spring.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI think even a die-hard Maryland fan would get a thrill seeing David Pierce lead the Brigade of Midshipmen onto the field.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHe probably would,\u201d Sara conceded, \u201cif he knew David.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou haven\u2019t introduced this good friend of yours to David?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The bishop\u2019s tone carried no hint of reprimand, but Sara felt reprimanded all the same. \u201cNo,\u201d she said quietly. \u201cI haven\u2019t introduced any of my Eden friends to my family. And I haven\u2019t told my family about my Eden friends.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPerhaps you should.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPerhaps I will.\u201d Sara felt guilty. Her parents knew she spent time online talking to Dr. Carroll and the other people who were going to Eden, but they didn\u2019t approve. They so disapproved, in fact, that they had blocked Dr. Carroll’s web site, along with all others connected with the Zarrists, on their own computer network. The only way around their stupid ban was to pay for her own wireless Internet service. Her parents didn\u2019t like the fact she kept in contact with the other Eden colonists this way, but there wasn\u2019t much they could do about it short of kicking her out of the house. \u201cThank you, Bishop. I\u2019m sorry to bother you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cRead D&C section 9 before you go to bed tonight, will you, Sara?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWell, why not?\u201d Sara replied, feeling tense and mentally exhausted. What was one more section?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what you get for calling me after nine o\u2019clock,\u201d the bishop teased.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara couldn\u2019t help but chuckle, releasing some of the tension she felt. \u201cThanks. Good night.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara hung up and read section 9, lingering over verses 8 and 9: But behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right. But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a stupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong . . . <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What was the bishop trying to tell her? That her present confusion was \u201ca stupor of thought?\u201d Perhaps. Then again, how could it be? For months she had known she should go to Eden, known it because the burning in her bosom told her so. Then again, her father would say a mind bond was compelling her, not the Spirit, but he didn\u2019t really know. She was his daughter, after all, intellectually and spiritually strong enough to resist such a bond, even if Tohmazz Zarr had attempted it, which she had a difficult time believing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What was she supposed to do? The Spirit told her to go to Eden, and the prophet told her not to go. How was she supposed to reconcile these conflicting commands? Was her bishop right? Was this bewilderment she felt a \u201cstupor of thought?\u201d A sign that it really was wrong to go to Eden after all?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara forced herself to write a quick e\u2011mail to Tony. She really did wish she could introduce Tony and her other Eden friends to her family. It wasn\u2019t right that her Eden life and her family life were separate. Why did her parents have to be so dense?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And why did David? Her father had promised he wouldn\u2019t fight her decision to go to Eden anymore, but David hadn\u2019t and wouldn\u2019t. They argued about it every time she saw him, and he was formidable. Now and then she believed life would be easier if she could just slip away and not see David again at all, but she couldn\u2019t very well throw away her best friend in the world. She would see him again before she left if she had to take a Sunday afternoon and drive to Annapolis herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While Sara was online, she couldn\u2019t resist popping into Dr. Carroll\u2019s forbidden web site. She wouldn\u2019t chat with anyone, of course, but she could look at the family pictures for a few teeny tiny minutes. Her mind was too tired to work anymore and needed time to relax and dream.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The first pictures to greet Sara were recent portraits of Dr. Carroll and his wife. Dr. Carroll\u2019s sky-blue eyes exuded intelligence, spirituality, and friendliness, the smoothness of his skin, the fullness of his golden blond hair, and dimple in his right cheek displaying youthfulness, despite his age, which was forty-six. Sister Thomassen Carroll smiled in a self-assured way, her pale-blond hair cut in a pageboy with bangs, her warm pink blouse both business-like and feminine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Below these portraits was a picture of them with their four children, all with various shades of blond hair and lush golden lashes. The Carrolls held themselves with elegance in their classic clothing. They were a family beautiful enough to grace the pages of the Ensign <\/em>or an advertisement for Deseret Book.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara brought up the wedding picture of Dr. Carroll and his wife in front of the Oakland Temple. Dr. Carroll looked so much like Cameron in the wedding picture that she had to catch her breath every time she looked at it. His wife\u2019s wedding dress glittered in the sun, her hair long and gently curled under a wreath of white roses. There were childhood pictures of Cameron, Ashley, Brandon, and Adam and photographs of the family\u2019s gorgeous estate home in Greenwood, Maryland.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Adam and Brandon posed with their baseball teams. Brandon proudly stood with his parents at his Eagle court of honor. Ashley smiled for her senior picture, her eyes green like her mother\u2019s and her chin bearing a cleft like her father\u2019s. Her hair, like her mother\u2019s, was pale blond and cut in a pageboy. Her style, however, was flatter than her mother\u2019s, parted on the side, and angled at the jaw. Ashley had been the valedictorian of her high school graduating class and student body president. She had excelled in debate, drama, and choir, and played both the piano and the flute. Sara sometimes thought Ashley and Josh should have been friends. They were practically the same age and were interested in so many of the same things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara casually moved from Ashley\u2019s photos and brief biography to Cameron\u2019s, forcing herself to maintain dignified restraint even in her solitude. There was a picture of him with his parents at his Eagle court of honor and one of him in a running suit with dozens of medals hanging from his extended arms and more hanging from his neck. There were prom and homecoming pictures, all with beautiful girls Sara recognized from his stake, and there was a photograph of him with his parents in front of the Columbia stake center, taken the day of his missionary farewell.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She examined the farewell picture more closely than she had the others, as she always did. It was odd. In it, Cameron wore the strangest expression she had ever seen on his face. His mouth curved into the tiniest of smiles, as if he didn\u2019t want to smile at all, and his eyes were feverish. He looked trapped. She had seen freedom and euphoria often enough on his face during his sprints that she thought she should be able to recognize the opposite. There was no doubt about it. In the farewell picture he looked caged and haunted, as if he didn\u2019t want to go on a mission at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara clicked on the hyperlink to a copy of one of the many e-mails Cameron had sent to his family from China. Since Cameron had been out well over a year and a half, there were many e-mails, all passionate about the gospel and radiating love for the Chinese people. Sometimes he became discouraged, but basically he was successful in what he was doing and happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara didn\u2019t think the Church would include a young man who was ambivalent about being on a mission in the first group to open up a country. Nor did she think such a young man would be called to be a branch president, with the responsibility of not only directing the branch, but teaching and baptizing converts and then arranging for them to travel to the temple community in Beijing. She believed, in fact, that Cameron was an exceptional missionary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not wanting to be disturbed by the farewell photo again, Sara went to Cameron\u2019s senior portrait, finally giving herself permission to ogle him. Those exquisite aqua eyes gazed back at her candidly from the photograph in a way they never had in person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy couldn\u2019t you have looked my way once, Cameron Carroll?\u201d Sara softly begged the portrait on the screen. \u201cJust once?\u201d Sara sometimes liked to think he was a snob, but she knew he wasn\u2019t. In six years, she had never detected a speck of haughtiness in him. She had been forced to accept the bitter fact that there simply wasn\u2019t anything about her that captured his interest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara forced her eyes away from Cameron\u2019s and thought about Tony Wright, a guy she liked as well as any person she had ever known and who was quite good-looking to boot. Though she and Tony had a natural rapport and communicated often online and on the phone, he had never asked her out and she had never asked him. A part of Sara thought it was because Tony didn\u2019t feel any more comfortable introducing her to his family than she felt introducing him to hers. A deeper part of her, though, believed it was because they both intuitively knew they could never be more than friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why that was, Sara didn\u2019t know. Perhaps Tony wasn\u2019t interested in her in a romantic way. Perhaps, on the other hand, he sensed her heart belonged to someone else and didn\u2019t want to get too close. If that was the case, a little encouragement from her could change things between them drastically. For the first time, Sara wondered whether her passion for Cameron was spoiling the possibility of a real love relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara hadn\u2019t seen Cameron in two years and wouldn\u2019t see him again for another two. Tony was available now, a genuine flesh and blood guy, not a dream man. Cameron reminded Sara of candlelight, slow dancing, cotton and silk, BMWs, glamorous women, and classical music. Tony reminded her of campfires, bear hugs, denim and flannel, trucks, dogs (no, big <\/em>dogs), and classic rock. She thought Tony was probably more her type, so why did she keep yearning for Cameron?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara\u2019s eyes found Cameron\u2019s again. Who was she fooling? She couldn\u2019t get Cameron out of her mind because he was perfect. Not because of the candlelight and silk, but because he laughed easily and smiled with his eyes. Because he achieved greatness while remaining a good sport. Because he was compassionate and full of faith and able to express his deepest convictions and emotions in a way that felt comfortable to her. Because he had the body of an Olympian and the countenance of an angel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara shut down her laptop. No guy could be that perfect. There had to be something wrong with him. It was his farewell photo, after all, which was the only blemish in an otherwise flawless photo display. Cameron was probably the family lunatic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sara had mustered the nerve to ask Dr. Carroll how Cameron was doing only once, the first time they had met, and only because Dr. Carroll had recognized her from the track meets. One of these days she would work up the nerve to ask about him again and would in time, perhaps, learn something deliciously ridiculous about him. She kept hoping Dr. Carroll would say something about him without encouragement from her, anything at all, but he never did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As Sara set her laptop on her desk and picked up her phone to plug it in and charge, the phone rang. Seeing that it was Dr. Carroll, she tried to ignore it. With every second that passed, however, her discomfort increased until she could do nothing but answer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her fingers trembled as they combed her long dark locks off of her forehead. She didn\u2019t know whether to panic or be excited. \u201cYes?\u201d she replied as calmly as she could. \u201cThis is Ben Carroll. I missed you in the chat room this evening. Are you all right?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\"Red<\/a><\/figure><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Katherine Padilla \u00a9 2003 Chapter 1: Messiah or Anti-Christ? Chapter 2: The Librarian Chapter 3: Doubts and Dreams Chapter 1: Messiah or Anti-Christ? The Divine One stood near the boardroom window-wall, an arm folded across His waist and a hand absently stroking His chin. He seemed oblivious to everything but the severely damaged condition of so […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3582,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"template-fullwidth.php","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-3675","page","type-page","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","post-preview"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/novels.zerosilver.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/3675","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/novels.zerosilver.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/novels.zerosilver.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/novels.zerosilver.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/novels.zerosilver.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3675"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/novels.zerosilver.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/3675\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5356,"href":"https:\/\/novels.zerosilver.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/3675\/revisions\/5356"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/novels.zerosilver.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3582"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/novels.zerosilver.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3675"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}

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